would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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