Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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