Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
