You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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