Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
