Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
