1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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