Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
50% drunk capacity currently
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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