I wannas sexs uuuuu
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
