ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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