Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
