What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize