apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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