It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
