This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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