the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize