So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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