Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
