Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
