What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
