Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize