Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
