Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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