Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He had one of those small greek statue penises
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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