It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
