I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
