The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
