She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
