i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
