And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
