so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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