haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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