We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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