i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
its not stalking. its research.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
