My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
