I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
