Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
