I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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