Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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