handjob tips. give me some.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
