so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
