when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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