DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
