You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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