Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
