Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize