Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize