Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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