I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
