If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
