college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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