I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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