it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
