I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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