In the future we'll all be gay
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
