ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
