So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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