i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
