after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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