I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I am mentally ready for anal.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
