I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Are we still banned from the library?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
