Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
