I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
