Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
