At least make sure they are 18
Why
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Mom said you looked used
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
