is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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